Spinning

50 minute spinning class today. A towel under the butt enabled me to do the whole class. Go me.

Aussi

Un autre chose que j'aimerai faire aven ce blog c'est d'améliorer mon français, alors quand j'ai quelque chose à dire qui n'est pas trop compliqué, j'essaierai de le dire ici, en français.

On vera.

Mon grammaire et mon orthographie sont horribles, je sais. Il faut pas me le dire juste pour le dire. Si vous voiez des erreurs veuillez me les indiquez, bien sure, mais il ne faut vraiment pas me dire <<ben, tu fais tants d'erreurs, toé!>>. Soyez bien certains que je le sais.

Do 36 pushups in under a minute

That's my latest goal on 43 Things. My entry for that goal:

I’m at 33 pushups with 29 of them in under a minute. I think this goal is acheivable.

And yes, those are real pushups. Not from the knees.

Friday Morale-O-Meter

Today's graph from Morale-O-Meter.

I miss Montreal.

43 Blog

Il faut absolument pas que j'oublie que les chose les plus importantes son d'être heureuse et de faire du bon. C'est pour ça que je vais mettre les articles pour mes 43 choses ici, dans le blog que j'ai créé pour suivre comment je suis heureuse. C'est parce-que je ne veux pas penser à mes objectif tans que j'oublie qu'être heureuse c'est l'objectif le plus important.

I haven't forgotten

But it has, in fact, been over a year since I meditated. The excuse that I just don't have time sounds hollow even to my ears, but it's all I've got. I'm going to use this blog as a health/diet/meditation record. We'll see how I do.

10 minutes

After a long hiatus, I spent 10 minutes meditating this evening. I started off by listening to Zencast's Zen Garden by Thich Nhat Hanh and then I used the 10 minute meditation timer to time my meditation.

I keep saying I'll keep it up, but I'm not so good at sticking to that. Well, here's to trying, again.

9 minutes

It amazes me sometimes, just how much my mind races.

I didn't acheive any stillness this time, but I managed to remind myself just how long that can take. I reminded myself that if I keep it up it will get better.

I used the 10 minute meditation timer from Zencast. It's just ten minutes of silence with some soft music on either end. Unfortunately I reached my limit and became convinced that it had ended without my noticing about a minute before the end, so then I had to check it, and I didn't do the whole ten minutes. Now that I know what the end sounds like, though, hopefully I'll be able to sit through the whole thing next time. My hope is to use this timer every evening for the next week and see what happens.

8 minutes

I meditated at about 2 this morning. I couldn't sleep and this helped tremendously. I think my idea of meditating before bed will really be helpful to my attempts to get to sleep faster. Lately I've not wanted to because my brain has been turning over and over and I just don't want the effort and frustration of trying to clear it, but the actual meditating was so helpful last night. I'll need to remember that. It's like exercising: The anticipation is much more difficult than actually doing it.

Twice in Three Days

I didn't meditate last night, but the two nights before that I did. Again, no stillness was acheived, but I was concentrating on mindfulness and presence. Dave wasn't there the first night, but I nonetheless managed to stay with the meditation for several minutes. The second time, Dave was there and meditating with me. Although that usually helps, I was having a really hard time slowing my brain down. I felt like my mind was the ball in a pinball machine, just bouncing unpredictably and uncontrollably from place to place.

Tonight I'll try again. Hopefully I can keep this up now, and in a few days or weeks I'll be acheiving moments of stillness.

A long lapse, then 9 Minutes

Last night I meditated for the first time since I left for Guatemala. It's been longer than I care to admit, but at least I'm getting back into it. Dave was there, which was nice. Knowing that he was sitting right in front of me, also meditating, kept me from giving up out of frustration and boredom.

I never used to get bored when I meditated, but now I've started to. My mind is so used to being occupied with two or three things at once that even having one thing at a time feels like too little, let alone trying to focus on nothing.

Again, I tried to focus on staying in the here and now, rather than getting the total stillness I used to strive for. I know there's no way I can achieve even an instant of stillness unless I can bring myself back to the present. I spend too much time letting my mind just run away with me.

I'll be trying to meditate again tonight, and I'll post the results.

Back in Montreal

I'm sorry to report that I didn't meditate a single time during the two weeks I spent in Guatemala. I was so occupied with the new experience, I just didn't think of it most of the time, and the times that I did think of it, I couldn't get to be alone. I find it so difficult to meditate when there's someone else there who isn't meditating with me.

Now that I'm back in Montreal, though, I'll get working on it again. I will meditate before bed tonight.

Some Work

I didn't look at the clock, so I don't know how many minutes I did, but I'm glad I managed to work some meditation in today. I was feeling so out of sorts and icky earlier.

I had no moments of stillness this time, my mind was in a thousand places. After my two salutations au soleil I sat for a while, but couldn't focus. I did a silent Ong-na, but I couldn't make the wheels stop spinning. My upcoming trip, tv shows I've been watching, relatives I haven't talked to in a while,... Everything was fighting for room in my head. Finally I just settled for bringing myself into the here and now. I couldn't acheive stillness, so I settled for mindfulness, but I think it was still good. I just reminded myself over and over of where I was and what I was doing, and I managed to reign my raging imagination in a bit.

I feel better now.

0 minutes

I didn't meditate today. I feel out of sorts and mildly cranky, possibly because of this. I'll try, but Floh's sitting on my bed. That's the problem with my apartment. No privacy if there's more than one person here.

18 minutes

I spent 18 minutes in meditation today. I started by doing the salutation au soleil twice, then some candle meditation. I was having trouble focusing on the candle, so I closed my eyes and chanted the Ong-na mantra: "Ong-na gu de ong." I used to know what it meant, but now I just use it as a focusing tool, and it seems to work.

I experienced a few brief instants of stillness while I was chanting. Less than a second each, I think (it can be hard to tell how long a stillness has lasted) but that's still better than yesterday, when I tried to meditate for five minutes and stopped because I got bored.

I think that starting off my meditation period with something familiar and peaceful like the salutation au soleil is a good idea. It helps me to quiet my mind so that I can focus on acheiving my stillness.