8 minutes

I meditated at about 2 this morning. I couldn't sleep and this helped tremendously. I think my idea of meditating before bed will really be helpful to my attempts to get to sleep faster. Lately I've not wanted to because my brain has been turning over and over and I just don't want the effort and frustration of trying to clear it, but the actual meditating was so helpful last night. I'll need to remember that. It's like exercising: The anticipation is much more difficult than actually doing it.

Twice in Three Days

I didn't meditate last night, but the two nights before that I did. Again, no stillness was acheived, but I was concentrating on mindfulness and presence. Dave wasn't there the first night, but I nonetheless managed to stay with the meditation for several minutes. The second time, Dave was there and meditating with me. Although that usually helps, I was having a really hard time slowing my brain down. I felt like my mind was the ball in a pinball machine, just bouncing unpredictably and uncontrollably from place to place.

Tonight I'll try again. Hopefully I can keep this up now, and in a few days or weeks I'll be acheiving moments of stillness.

A long lapse, then 9 Minutes

Last night I meditated for the first time since I left for Guatemala. It's been longer than I care to admit, but at least I'm getting back into it. Dave was there, which was nice. Knowing that he was sitting right in front of me, also meditating, kept me from giving up out of frustration and boredom.

I never used to get bored when I meditated, but now I've started to. My mind is so used to being occupied with two or three things at once that even having one thing at a time feels like too little, let alone trying to focus on nothing.

Again, I tried to focus on staying in the here and now, rather than getting the total stillness I used to strive for. I know there's no way I can achieve even an instant of stillness unless I can bring myself back to the present. I spend too much time letting my mind just run away with me.

I'll be trying to meditate again tonight, and I'll post the results.